Thursday, December 24, 2009

Bagarre - No Toys

Italian alterna-disco-pop group Bagarre are mainly known for their semi-hit “Lemonsweet”, an upbeat ode to LSD. As much as I love “Lemonsweet”, though, my love for the infectiously melodic “No Toys” surpasses it by an order of magnitude. “No Toys” reflects a creative, whimsical side of proto-Italo Disco, and lyrically it's dominated by a theme that crops up in many-an early/mid-’80s tune: imagining what glamour & sophistication must be associated with personal wealth that is just out of reach. The song has a brilliantly off-kilter chant for its chorus, and much like all the great Italo tunes, something’s just not quite right about it; certain English words are occasionally mispronounced or incorrectly substituted by the non-native speakers, vocal delivery is heavily accented and in unnatural rhythms, and the arrangement is simultaneously happy-go-lucky yet slightly dreamy and moody.
Google turned up no lyrics, so here’s my stab at them:

Ain’t got no toys
The things that do for girls and boys
A Cadillac smiles
That I can drive for miles and miles

One, two, ain’t got no toys
The things that do for girls and boys
Three, four, a Cadillac smiles
That I can drive for miles and miles

Bricks on bricks
So I can make a house that slicks*
Mmm, money
So everybody will call me honey

Five, six, bricks on bricks
So I can make a house that sticks
Seven, eight, money
So everybody will call me honey

Ain’t got no toys
An orange Porsche and pink Rolls Royce
Flowers in spring
Diamond bracelets and golden rings

One, two, ain’t got no toys
An orange Porsche, pink Rolls Royce
Three, four, flowers in spring
Diamond bracelets, golden rings

(repeat all of the above again)
Ain’t got no toys
An orange Porsche and pink Rolls Royce
Flowers in spring
Diamond bracelets and golden rings

One, two, ain’t got no toys
An orange Porsche, pink Rolls Royce
Three, four, flowers in spring
Diamond bracelets, golden rings

Dine at The Ritz
Long fur coats and swocker on mitts**
Ginny fizz
And anything that will make me whiz

Five, six, dine at the ritz
Long fur coats and swocker on mitts**
Seven, eight, ginny fizz
And anything that will make me whiz

Ain’t got no toys
The things that do for girls and boys
A Cadillac smiles
That I can drive for miles and miles

One, two, ain’t got no toys
The things that do for girls and boys
Three, four, a Cadillac smiles
That I can drive for miles and miles

Five, six, bricks on bricks
So I can make a house that sticks
Seven, eight, money
So everybody will call me …honey


*In the 2nd verse it’s definitely not “house that sticks,” but in the chanted chorus, it definitely is. I'm pretty sure she’s saying "slicks".

**In the last original verse, “swocker on” is my phonetic approximation of what they’re saying. It’s definitely not “sparkling.” Maybe some brand of designer gloves?